Hi Everyone! I’ve been in Maine this past week, so I’m just getting around to reporting the day before the day before yesterday’s news, which I’m sure every other blog has already reported. It’s important, as I blame Martha Stewart for the massive increase in traffic headed to Maine, especially at the stupid Hampton Toll in New Hampshire,* and I’m still pissed at her for describing the rocks she boats over in Maine as horrible or terrible or something like that. I mean, if you can’t appreciate the sublime rocks in Maine, go back to the stupid potato fields in the Hamptons Martha!

Alright, vent over. This idea is so genius; why hasn’t anyone thought of it before? I remember buying a “Martha Stuart” parody magazine about ten years ago that had articles like “Stenciling the Driveway,” but really, Martha can be such a parody of herself that you simply cannot out-Martha Martha Stewart. My former roommate and I used to do dramatic readings of her ridiculous back-page phony nostalgia essays about Nutley New Jersey the day her magazine arrived in the mail. I love to hate her and hate to love her. According to The New York Times, Martha’s daughter Alexis and her pal Jennifer Koppelman Hutt are going to be poking fun at the Duchess of Domesticity Mystery Science Theater 3000-style. The show will be called Whatever, Martha! and the hostesses will be showing the most ridiculous clips, like “Collecting Twine,” from the Martha Stewart TV show archives and commenting on them. Begrudgingly I tell you in Martha’s defense, she has given the show her blessing. Thus, I’m over the traffic and her hating on the rocks and I’m loving her all over again.

Be sure to set your DVR for the Fine Living Network on September 16. I could not find anymore information about it on their site yet – c’mon Fine Living, throw us a little preview video bone while we wait! I’m almost as excited about this as I am about the return of 30 Rock.

*I am pleased to report that New Hampshire has joined the TWENTIETH century and finally installed EZPass technology at the toll booths. And people say the south is bassackwards.

• photo from fineliving.com